Frequently Asked Questions
How does our past affect us now?
Healing Broken Hearts
It is not uncommon for divorcing and/or separating parents to have emotional and practical barriers to cooperation with one another. These barriers may, at times, seem insurmountable, and parents may be tempted to stop trying to find common ground and maintain a parenting partnership. The most common barriers are value differences and issues of power, control, and competition. These complicate even the simplest matters and can cause the most minor parenting issue to take on a life of its own. Part of successful “recovery” from divorce and separation means identifying the emotional barriers to cooperation with your parenting partner and choosing to make decisions that are child-focused. For many parents, beneath the struggle for power and control is a fear of loss. Some parents fear that if they are not loved “the best” then they may not be loved at all. These kinds of fears can often be traced back to early experiences in the parent’s own childhood, and divorce or separation may reactivate old “wounds.” Until resolved, these hurtful “wounds” become significant barriers to cooperation and effective co-parenting. NCPC offers therapy for individuals to help heal old wounds and let go of needs for power and control. NCPC also offers Parenting Coordination to help structure and manage the parenting partnership until emotional barriers, for one or both parents, can be resolved.